Life According to Joshua

Dear World,

I being super-baby have hacked Daddy's computer to tell you to truth about my life right now.  

Mommy and Daddy like to keep me swaddled.  I'm almost positive it's because they think I look, "snug as a bug in a rug."  They claim, however, that it is important for my development and use words like "flexion" and "muscle growth" to legitimize the constraint.   

But I wiggle and aquirm and make my opinion known.  A little man's arms deserve to be free!  

I would also like to note that I like to sleep on the right.  When my parents place my head on the left, I wait for them to walk away and maneuver my way around.  Daddy does stretches and massages, but he just thinks they work.  There's nothing anyone can do.  I'm persistent like that. 

I have two favorite times of the day - playtime and food time.  During playtime, mommy and daddy argue over the correct words to stories.  Mommy's always right on that account though.  They show me lots and lots and lots of sea animals.  I've learned about turtles and octopuses and crabs, but mostly whales.  So many whales.  Mommy is a little obsessed.  

They're cool toys, but my favorite plaything is this cannula you see on my face.  It's there whenever I want it.  I pull and pull until I scream with delight, or maybe because it hurts a little.  

The nurses at the NICU taught me that the best time to play is at 2 AM.  My parents disagree.  They don't understand why I'm always excited to be awake around then.  

Last but certainly the best is food time.  My eating/digestion habits have earned me some names.  I thought my name was Joshua, but apparently I'm "Food Monster" or "Hungry Hungry Hippo."  My formula is sometimes hard to digest and grunting helps me express myself.  Mommy and Daddy call me "Sir Grunts-a-lot: and "Grunther."  Oh the indignity!

When Grandma feeds me, it's awesome because I have her undivided attention.  But when Mommy feeds me, I know that sometimes she tries to sneak a peek at her Nook.  Mommy, I know when you aren't admiring my eyes or counting my chins.  Have you noticed that's when I start grunting the most?

Well, that's it for now.  If my parents don't catch me perhaps, I will hack the computer another time.

Sincerely,
Joshua